Don’t let anyone treat you badly because you’re scared of losing them
It always makes me laugh the way my kids always have so many stories to tell me when they return from spending either a weekend or longer periods of time with their dad due to the holidays. The stories they have to tell me, as adults we say that if a person is so quick to talk about their friend to you, what are they saying about you? Can the same phrase be used in relation to children? Not sure, but I know anything my children have to say about me can’t be all bad.
Dad: How are things at home?
Dad: Does you’re mum have a new boyfriend?
Dad: Does he come by the house?
Kids: He lives with us now. It’s been a while
Dad: He doesn’t touch you or treat you in any way?
Kids: No dad
You know how the dialogue goes.
So my kids come home and tell me all the things their dad asked and I know it’s only a matter of time before my phone is ringing and he’s drilling me like I’m his child too.
Ex: So the kids said that you are seeing someone?
Me: ‘rolls eyes’ yes
Ex: And he lives with you?
Ex: So you know the house belongs to the kids you know and no one should come and make them feel otherwise?
Me: (pause. So this is where in my head I’m thinking this is none of your business. Yes they are your kids but what goes on in my home is my business. As long as the kids are okay and I am not bringing them any harm and they have not said anything untoward to him for him to be concerned about, he should not be coming to me like this. But I repent and know not to play his game because that’s what he expects) Of course I know this and my partner does too
After seven years of our relationship of which we have been separated for the last eight to nine years and him being four relationships on (maybe more, I just don’t know), he still goes through this routine. I’ve allowed it up to this point to save argument but it’s always a good time to make change…..
Maybe this should have been my first blog but I’m doing it now so here it goes.
I’m a 33 year old mother of two who finds therapy in writing.
My head sometimes becomes so clouded with so many thoughts, that I like to write about them in a charismatic way as a release.
My writing can be quite random as I do write a lot about sex as I am a very sexual person and the serious stuff to me doesn’t sound as interesting. However, my sister has said that, the serious things I can write about could be things that others can relate to.
People sometimes take my aura as being quite flirty. My eyes are seductive, I have an ample sized bosom and the way I put myself across is that I’m confident, but I’m so not.
The flip side of this though is what people’s first perceptions of me are before they know or talk to me. I am shy, I can be awkward. My bitch resting face has people thinking I’m either stuck up, too serious or stush. I have a nervous laugh. I say very little when around people I don’t know or feel uncomfortable around. When I’m not feeling myself, I shut off from friends because I like to deal with things by myself rather than have the input of others and once resolved speak of the issue. I’m just me.
So if your reading now, come along for my journey through separation, domestic violence, motherhood and love amongst other things – What I see vs What you see